It's weird isn't it. How you can love your job one day and then the next it is like it's sucking the life right out of you.!! NOTICE that wasn't a question. When your work day depends on how your boss's mood is. When you never know what to expect when you walk in the door. When you and your co-workers are always pitted against each other so the boss can "solve the problem" and always be the one that is right and take the credit for everything. It's draining, it wrecks havoc on your self-esteem, it compromises your immune system and takes a toll on your emotional and mental state. I have said this many times to my family that my mental health just could not take it anymore. I was crying all the time-getting upset stomach on Sunday nights, lost my whole self esteem and who I was and became someone I did not even recognize. I am one of the lucky ones--I found the little liquid sunshine that helped be these past 3 years. That helped me get off my anxiety meds and helped me remember who I was. I am working my way back to me. It will take some time and that is ok. I did not turn into the person I no longer recognized over night-I can not expect to return to me overnight. Just know if this sounds like you or someone you know--you can free yourself-it will take courage and determination. As I am typing this (this is the first time have ever put this into writing) it still triggers me--I still feel my stomach knot up thinking--what if they see this--what will they say. I can no longer worry about that. I have to take care of myself and my family. In my future--there is alot of self help, self improvement and self love happening. I am a work in progress and will continue to be a work in progress because you can not grow if you are not willing to change. XOXO Sandy
